Don’t sweat holiday season small stuff

By The Health News Team | December 18, 2024

Person in front of fireplace drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows

Is it the most wonderful time of the year – or the most worrisome? According to a 2023 survey, 90% of adults in the U.S. say they’re stressed during the holiday season. And the reasons are aplenty — from worrying about finances and conquering shopping lists to missing loved ones and anticipating family conflict, the holidays have some people feeling overwhelmed.

“As we know, the holidays provide additional stress to our regular stress,” says Mary Heineke, licensed marriage and family therapist at Sharp Grossmont Hospital for Behavioral Health. “We're talking about spending money, shopping, family — all the extra things we do over the holidays.”

But it doesn’t have to be that way, Heineke says. If you remind yourself not to stress the small stuff throughout the season, you might just find yourself recapturing some of that holiday magic that the Christmas carols promise.

Here’s how Heineke recommends you handle some of the holidays’ biggest stressors:

Money

Budget, budget, budget. We often think we have to buy everything on a loved one’s list or something for everybody in our friend group or from the office. Minimize what you buy. Consider writing notes about how much you appreciate each person or giving homemade baked goods. Truly heartfelt gifts don’t have to come from a store.

Family

Family — we can't live with them and can't live without them. But seriously, the holidays are the time everybody comes together. It's OK to talk about things that we're not going talk about at gatherings and set guardrails around how much alcohol is served to minimize stress and calm concerns Uncle Tom might say something inappropriate, or Aunt Mabel may fall asleep in the gravy — again. Talk about potential stress points in advance and decide who's invited, what topics can be discussed, and what the plan will be if things start going awry.

Schedule

Just say no. It’s OK to say you can’t bring six dozen fresh-baked cookies to the party in three hours, host a family of five in your two-bedroom home, or chip in on a gift for someone you didn’t plan to give something. The holidays are the time of year to be joyful, and you’re allowed to experience that joy as much as the next person. Say no, set boundaries, and take some time for yourself — consider it a gift from you to you.

Overindulgence

The holidays can include lots of alcohol and food, leaving us feeling bloated, fatigued and, occasionally, hungover. We have to be willing to set limits for ourselves. No matter what anyone says, it's OK not to eat everything on the table, have an extra dessert or continuously allow your wine glass to be refilled. Like teens, adults can also apply peer pressure, but you don’t have to give in to it. Aim for moderation and say “No, thank you” when needed.

“If you find yourself feeling more stress than joy during the holidays, take a step back and see what’s weighing on your mind,” Heineke says. “If it’s not a must-have or must-do, grant yourself permission to just say no. Aim for pleasure, not perfection, cut yourself some slack, set those boundaries, and have a happy holiday season!”

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The Health News Team

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The Sharp Health News Team are content authors who write and produce stories about Sharp HealthCare and its hospitals, clinics, medical groups and health plan.