Preparing your relationship for a newborn

By The Health News Team | August 20, 2024

When preparing for a newborn, partners will often spend time mapping out the nursery and picking out the perfect name. However, attention should also be given to one of the most important parts of being a new parent — your relationship with each other.

“An important aspect of preparing for a newborn that often gets left off the list is preparing your relationship for the huge changes that come along with introducing a newborn and their routine to your dynamic,” says Ryan Lane, licensed marriage and family therapist with Sharp Mesa Vista Hospital and the expert featured in Sharp’s free on-demand Navigating the Fourth Trimester video series.

“The first and most important thing you can do is open a dialogue and prepare for your needs, as individuals and a family, during the first three months – also called the fourth trimester,” says Lane. “By preparing yourselves for the evolution of your relationship in parenthood, you are creating a gameplan to help enjoy the ups and move through the downs with mutual understanding.”

To begin the process, expectant parents can download and fill out the Sharp Postpartum Plan of Support. This free resource offers the opportunity to discuss and consider all aspects of support during the fourth trimester, including:

Sleep and nutrition
Infant feeding
Mental health
Managing visitors
Adjusting to your “new normal”

“Being on the same page for support before the baby comes can help with less deliberation and hard discussions when the baby is here and you are dealing with other hurdles, like lack of sleep, stress and isolation,” Lane says.

Building a better partnership

While there are endless ways to prepare your relationship for the fourth trimester, Lane offered five essential ways to practice savoring your relationship and building a stronger friendship before your newborn arrives:

1

Express appreciation, affection and admiration.

When there is a lack of time and energy left in your tank as a new parent, words of affirmation and appreciation go a long way with your partner. Make sure to share that love and affection as much as you share any criticisms or requests.

2

Find ways to acknowledge your partner.

Even while you are both putting in maximum effort, it is important to pay attention if your partner does something positive and praise them for it. Often, praise will strengthen connection and respect, bring reciprocation of appreciation and encourage your partner to continue putting in the effort.

3

Practice calming down conflict.

Avoid harsh conversation starters. Instead, say what you feel by describing the problem neutrally without blame. Express what you need, rather than what you don’t need, slow down your need to persuade your partner of your side, and take breaks when needed. Conflict is often resolved with understanding, compromise and the willingness to accept your own role in an argument.

4

Turn toward one another, not away.

Put down your phones, turn off the TV and stop what you are doing when your partner is talking to you. Turning toward one another leads to more of the same. Bids of attention, small or big, are really requests for emotional connection.

5

Build love maps.

Building a love map is about knowing the way to your partner’s heart. Make sure you know what fuels them, whether it is an uninterrupted workout, their favorite food or something else they are passionate about. Do not be afraid to ask questions about things you think you should know the answer to already.

“These tips are universal and should be considered in your relationship, with or without a newborn,” says Lane. “However, by taking the time to strengthen your relationship before your dynamic shifts with a newborn, you can spend more time being present and enjoying your new adventure of parenthood.”

Learn about preparing your relationship for the fourth trimester by registering for the free on-demand Navigating the Fourth trimester video series, which also includes essential information on the physical and mental recovery of the birthing parent and navigating your relationship with a newborn during this important period.

The Health News Team

Author

The Sharp Health News Team are content authors who write and produce stories about Sharp HealthCare and its hospitals, clinics, medical groups and health plan.