Running through grief

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Benilda honors the colorful life that her daughter lived, and is dedicated to continuing her story.

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Ronnell, known as Romo, was a talented filmmaker, performer and artist in the San Diego community.

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Benilda and Ronnell shared a special bond as only mothers and daughters can.

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After her breast cancer diagnosis, Ronnell encouraged her mother to seek out grief support.

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Benilda runs past the Star of India, completing one of three races in Ronnell's honor.

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Benilda Morris, with her husband, Eric, brings her race bibs to Ronnell's gravesite.

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Ronnell's gravesite is decorated with her mother's accomplishments in her honor.

Benilda Morris, age 60, has served as a U.S. Navy fitness specialist for 16 years. Staying active has always been central to her life — a passion she shared with her daughter, Ronnell.

Just before turning 30, Ronnell — known by friends as Romo — told her mom about her new goal: complete three half-marathons and earn the coveted SoCal Triple Crown medal. Runners participating in the Carlsbad, GOVX San Diego and America’s Finest City events earn a SoCal Triple Crown medal, awarded for completing the race series in the same calendar year.

“She originally planned on finishing those races in 2020, but the pandemic delayed everything,” Benilda explains. “We also had events we were planning to run together.”

Ronnell, a senior copywriter at the American Council on Exercise (ACE) Fitness, was no stranger to physical fitness challenges. An avid runner, she’d already completed several triathlons. She also enjoyed working out with her mom.

A devastating diagnosis

On Mother’s Day 2021, Benilda received a call from Ronnell — but it wasn’t the typical “Happy Mother’s Day” message she expected. At age 30, Ronnell was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer. Her goal of earning the SoCal Triple Crown medal would be put on hold while she focused on her health.

A while later, Ronnell and her family received devastating news. Just when her health seemed to be improving, they learned the cancer had spread. On Jan. 31, 2023, Ronnell died at the age of 32.

Benilda was stricken with grief. She lost her only daughter, her best friend and her confidante. “I didn’t feel whole anymore without her,” Benilda says. “We were extremely close.”

The deaths of her parents that same year compounded her grief. In early 2024, Benilda decided it was time to seek bereavement support — a promise she made to Ronnell before she passed.

“When she was dying, she told me I had to get help,” Benilda says. “I had to get support. I made that promise to her, and I was going to keep it.”

Finding support at Sharp

During a visit with Dr. Corinne Yarbrough, her primary care doctor at Sharp Rees-Stealy, Benilda explained her situation and the immense grief she was experiencing. Dr. Yarbrough referred her to Sharp Rees-Stealy's Behavioral Health Case Management program, and Benilda was connected with Sarah Ferrara, a medical social worker and behavioral health case manager on the Population Health team.

Benilda became engaged in the Behavioral Health Case Management program and started having monthly calls with Ferrara. Benilda says Ferrara has been instrumental in helping her navigate not only her grief, but also the health system and resources available to her. She started group therapy this year and found strength in meeting others experiencing loss.

“Grief and struggles with mental health have no time stamp,” Ferrara says. “Everyone I work with is on their own journey. It’s important I meet them where they’re at, provide education, and just walk with them as they make their next steps.”

Finishing Ronnell’s race

When they first began working together, Ferrara asked Benilda about her goals. Benilda already knew what she wanted to do: finish what her daughter started. She would complete three half-marathons to earn the SoCal Triple Crown medal in Ronnell’s memory.

Benilda arranged to have Ronnell’s race event registrations transferred to her. Training for the events, she says, kept her going.

By the end of August 2024, Benilda had completed all three half-marathon events. After crossing each finish line, she drove straight to her daughter’s grave marker to lay the medal on it.

“She was running with me,” Benilda says. “I had to do this for her and check this off her bucket list. These were her medals.”

Still running for Ronnell

Benilda was discharged from the program last month. She’s grateful for the compassion and support she received from her Sharp Rees-Stealy care team.

“The grief will always be with me, that will never go away,” Benilda says. “But now I have the right tools, and I know where to turn when I need help.”

Now a SoCal Triple Crown finisher, Benilda says she will keep running. Other things need to be checked off Ronnell’s bucket list, and Benilda plans to participate in several upcoming race events — many of which she had planned to run with her daughter.

“Ronnell gives me strength, too,” Benilda says. “Pink was her favorite color; and whenever I see it during a race, I know she’s there with me.”

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