Easy as 1-2-3: The ABC model helps reframe negative thoughts

Do you ever worry that negative thoughts sometimes get the best of you? Do your thoughts lead you to do or say things that you later regret or put you in a deeper sense of shame, hurt or pain?

What if you could reshape how you perceive and think about experiences in a way that brings you more peace? It may be as simple as learning your mental health ABCs.

The ABC model of rational emotive behavior therapy is a way to understand how our beliefs influence our feelings and actions. Developed by Dr. Albert Ellis, the model helps people understand that how we perceive situations — not the situations — influences how we feel and act.

“Once we understand that it's not just what happens to us, but what we think about it that causes our emotions, we are then free to question our thoughts and modify them so that they are more realistic and helpful to us,” says Lori Alford, a licensed social worker with Sharp Grossmont Hospital for Behavioral Health.

According to Alford, everyone can benefit from learning how to observe, question and change distorted beliefs and negative thoughts into more balanced, flexible and rational thinking.

Learning your ABCs

The ABC model, Alford says, teaches us that events or situations do not cause our emotions and reactions. Rather, our beliefs determine how we feel and act toward them.

“In the ABC model, you are modifying thoughts that are inaccurate, inflexible and unhelpful,” says Alford. “Often, our thoughts will be a mixture of accurate and inaccurate, helpful and unhelpful. We work on the ones that aren't helpful, such as demanding perfection from ourselves, others and life in general.”

The ABC model is broken down into these steps:

“If we look at the consequences — or step C — and find that we are satisfied with our emotional and behavioral consequences, then there is no problem to address,” Alford says. “But if we do not like how we felt or reacted, we can then work on our beliefs — or step B.”

Alford says that if the consequences are undesirable, the next step would be to dispute. “This means we examine our beliefs through a process of Socratic questioning,” she says.

Start by asking yourself if your beliefs are true:

• What evidence do I have for these beliefs?

• Are there any distortions?

• Are my beliefs black-and-white thinking?

• Am I taking things too personally?

• Am I catastrophizing things or jumping to conclusions?

• Am I missing any information?

“In particular, we want to look for demand thinking,” says Lori. “Are there any tyrannical ‘shoulds’ or ‘shouldn'ts’? Am I demanding that people, places and things be the way I insist? Are these beliefs in alignment with my values? Do they help me feel how I wish to feel?”

Once you spot the errors in your thinking, the next step is to modify your beliefs to be more helpful, flexible and effective. These effective new beliefs will be realistic and empowering, allowing you to feel better and make healthier choices.

For example: Three people are fired from their jobs.

• Person No. 1 may say: "This is terrible and will be the end of me."

• Person No. 2 may say: "I wish it hadn't happened, but I will cope somehow."

• Person No. 3 may say: "Not to worry. There are other companies I am curious about applying to where I might have a more rewarding career."

In this case, person No. 1, with the negative emotional reaction, could use the ABC model to reshape their response.

Mastering your ABCs

Processing situations, thoughts and feelings through the ABC model is best done alongside a therapist or other mental health professional. A therapist can help you recognize distorted thinking, help you make sense of your thoughts, and create effective new beliefs.

“It is great news that we are not helpless puppets on a string at the mercy and whim of people, places and things,” says Alford. “We have the ability to think through situations and triggers in ways that help us feel calmer and behave in a more effective manner.”

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