Addressing the ‘epidemic’ of loneliness

We all experience feeling lonely at times. That's normal, according to Jacob Sadan, a marriage and family therapist with Sharp Mesa Vista Hospital. But true loneliness is a kind of chronic disconnect from the relationships we have and the relationships we want.

“Loneliness is that feeling that nobody really gets you or not knowing who you would turn to in a time of need,” Sadan says. “And loneliness can lead to physical and mental health problems.”

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), social isolation and loneliness can increase a person's risk for:

• Heart disease and stroke

• Type 2 diabetes

• Depression and anxiety

• Suicidality and self-harm

• Dementia

• Earlier death

“Chronic loneliness can be as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day,” Sadan says. “But if we think about it, humans are designed to need connection. So, when we're not getting that, we have stress in our bodies, and stress wreaks havoc.”

However, roughly 1 in 3 adults in the U.S. report feeling lonely, and 1 in 4 say they lack social and emotional support. A 2023 Surgeon General Advisory that addressed this “epidemic” of loneliness stated that the impacts are “a critical public health concern.”

The role of technology

Due to COVID-19 spread prevention measures, such as social distancing, loneliness surged during the pandemic. The addition of a growing dependency on connection through social media made the issue multiply.

“While we may know what's happening in our friends’ and loved ones’ lives from afar via social media, we're not spending face-to-face time with them,” Sadan says. “We may assume that we’re connected because we can see photos, videos and written posts, but we're not sharing what's really happening — we're just watching the highlights of their lives.”

Real life includes highlights but also struggles, setbacks and the need for support, Sadan says. But most people don’t share their challenges on social media, creating what he calls a “pseudo connection.”

Addressing loneliness

To reduce loneliness, Sadan says people must start fostering connections by getting back into their communities. “It starts with the people around you,” he says.

He recommends reaching out to a friend or loved one and taking the first step to connect. “We don't need to reinvent the wheel to build connections in our backyard,” Sadan says.

The U.S. Public Health Service recommends that individuals can also:

• Reduce distractions, such as phones and other digital devices, during conversations to increase the quality of the time you spend with others.

• Seek out opportunities to serve and support others.

• Be responsive to and supportive of others.

• Practice gratitude.

• Engage with people of different backgrounds and experiences.

• Participate in social and community groups, such as fitness, religious, hobby, professional and service organizations.

• Reduce practices that lead to feelings of loneliness, such as excessive social media use and isolating.

• Seek help from friends, loved ones, religious leaders, care providers and others when struggling.

• Be open with your health care provider about significant changes in your life.

• Make time for civic engagement.

• Reflect the core values of connection — respect, kindness, commitment to others — in conversations and through your actions.

“We live in San Diego, and it's the best place to connect with others through year-round indoor and outdoor activities,” Sadan says. “You have to put yourself out there — go to different events, look for clubs and organizations that interest you, take classes.”

If you struggle with issues related to anxiety or depression, which might be contributing to feelings of isolation or loneliness, Sadan recommends talking with your doctor. They may refer you to a mental health care provider who can help.

The County of San Diego also offers resources that can help you connect with others. From transportation to special programs, 211 San Diego provides information and connections to community, health and disaster resources.

“You've just got to get out of the house and make good connections,” Sadan says. “Even if it's with just a few people.”

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